Santa’s elf is coming to town.

Some Christmas movie snark! :)



Okay, needed to get that off my chest before heading into this recap. The character in question is ten, and I am a curmudgeon who would never tell a child Santa was real in the first place. So yeah, I think the kid’s a loser. But of course, in the world of the dreaded “Santa really exists!” Christmas film, my protests have no merit.

The movie is Northpole. Yes, spelled as one word. Because I guess that’s the name of the city at the North Pole? I don’t fucking know. We’re trapped in one of those stories about how sad kids down south are killing snow magic or something, there’s an elf named Clementine, Santa has a horrible fake beard and looks like he’s been on the Atkins, and Mrs. Santa has clearly had Botox.

Hallmark has been obsessively promoting this…

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